


my salvation lies in your love

by hippopotamus



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: M/M, Reunion, not the happiest of endings but they do end up together so make of it what you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 04:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16033160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippopotamus/pseuds/hippopotamus
Summary: “Even?” he says, a question to ascertain whether maybe this is a daydream. He doesn’t want to greet him until he’s sure.The soft smile Even gives him is proof enough. “Hi, Isak. Long time no see.”





	my salvation lies in your love

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello hello and welcome  
> this is vaguely (and i mean VAGUELY PLS BECAUSE THAT FILM IS ABOUT BROTHERS) inspired by the short film rocks that bleed  
> title is from orange sky by alexi murdoch  
> pls enjoy???and beware that i am posting this having only just finished it at 2:30AM

There’s a knock at Isak’s door. 

Funny, given the circumstances. He thought he’d be left alone today - of all days. 

It’s a minute or two before he comes to his senses and realises it needs answering, that it’s not just a trick his mind is playing on him, one to make him feel less alone. There’s someone at the door, waiting to come in.

His mind is so far elsewhere that he doesn’t give any thought to who it might be before he opens it. Doesn’t think that whoever it is, it will be a surprise. He just moves to the door and opens it automatically, his only thought that perhaps there’s no one there at all.

But it’s not no one. And it’s not the last person he’d expect, either. It’s the person he knew would show up in some form or another, although he thought the form it would take would be a daydream.

“Even?” he says, a question to ascertain whether maybe this  _ is  _ a daydream. He doesn’t want to greet him until he’s sure.

The soft smile Even gives him is proof enough. “Hi, Isak. Long time no see.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then, Isak’s shaky breath in. 

And then he crashes into Even, throwing his arms around him and pulling him close, holding him as the last person he’ll ever hold. Even holds back just as tight. Tight enough that Isak feels his heart beating against his own, tight enough that he can barely breathe, although that was never really an option.

Moments pass, but Isak needs answers.

“Why are you here?” Isak asks.

Even answers with his usual charm. “I’m waiting for you to invite me in.”

Isak has never tried to deny that anything Even asks of him, he’ll do. He stands aside, smiling as Even’s hand brushes across his arm as he passes, a grateful gesture.

Isak repeats his question after the door is shut.

“I wanted to see you. I was thinking about you.”

“But you should - you should be with your family, shouldn’t you? I mean, isn’t everyone?”

“Then why aren’t you?” counters Even. Isak bows his head, ashamed.

“You know that wasn’t an option for me, Even.”

“And letting you be alone wasn’t an option for me.”

“But this is different, this is big, Even, this is -”

“I know what it is, Isak.” Even sighs. “I’ve said everything that needs to be said to my family. I want to spend today with you.”

“But-“

“Just let me have this, Isak,” Even pleads, and Isak feels his concerns, his plan to dissuade Even from this melt away. “Let  _ us  _ have this,” Even corrects himself, and Isak slips back further. “We don’t need to think about any future. I just want to be with you.”

“Okay,” agrees Isak. “If you’re sure, I guess there’s no talking you out of it, is there?”

“You know there never is,” smiles Even.

Isak can’t hold down his own smile. He takes a step forward, towards Even, reaching out a tentative hand to hold Even’s. 

With their fingers linked and their eyes locked, they stay in silence under the dim light in Isak’s hallway. They breathe, and Isak thinks. 

“How are you?” he asks to fill the silence. 

“Fine,” Even says. “You?”

Isak nods. “Yeah, fine. Always fine.”

His mind wanders some more. There are things he needs to say, things he needs to hear, but he’s not sure where to start. Not sure whether to tell Even he was lying, or whether to tell Even he knows he was lying, Neither of them are fine.

“So you,” he starts eventually, when the silence and the wonders get too much. “You didn’t call.”

Even ducks his head to avoid Isak’s gaze. “I didn’t think you really wanted me to.”

Isak rolls his eyes. He knew the answer before Even said it, and he pulls him in for another hug before he replies. “Of course I wanted you to. Six months without you is too fucking long.”

“Why do you think I’m back?” Even says. and Isak can hear him smiling.

“But where did you go?”

There’s a pause. 

“I just needed space to miss you.”

“I needed you here,” says Isak, although he knows he shouldn’t. 

“But we agreed-“

“I know,” Isak cuts him off. “I wanted to change my mind, but I couldn’t find you.”

“I-”

“Do you want a drink?” Isak says quickly, pulling away from Even and turning to walk to the kitchen. Even follows slowly, and Isak glances back to see him lost in a smile at the pictures Isak still has on his walls - the pictures that Even drew for him.

By the time Even reaches him in the kitchen, Isak has made up his mind. “We shouldn’t talk about it,” he tells Even, and looks at him expectantly, not sure whether he will agree.

Even simply nods, and Isak relaxes into a smile. 

“You’re here,” he says, letting it wash over him again. “I didn’t think I’d - you’re fucking  _ here _ .”

“Yeah.” Silence and empty space stretches between them, but they’re both smiling now. 

“I was getting you a drink,” Isak remembers. “Sorry, I-”

Before he can turn back to his task, Even has crossed the room towards him, and is pulling him in close again. “I don’t need a drink,” he says, and he wants to say something else,too. The look on his face is so familiar, half smiling, face just inches from Isak’s.

“No?” Isak prompts. 

“No. I just need to kiss you.”

Last time they kissed, Isak was tearing himself apart. His heart was with Even and his mind was with the future, and the two things were worlds apart. 

This time when they kiss, Isak feels himself being put back together.

*

**then**

When they were together, it was something that Even would do sometimes, just to leave for a few days without a word. Or - not really without a word. Usually it was lots of words, a disagreement, an argument, a fight, really. Something that made them realise they didn’t work together well enough for their futures to happen, something that scared them so much, because one day they’d have to face the truth. 

Last time they kissed, they were facing that truth. Neither of them knew what to say, but seconds passed with silence, and Even at the door, not ready to cross to the outside world without Isak. 

“I shouldn’t say it,” he started to say, and Isak’s head snapped up to look at him. He knew what Even would say, but he didn’t stop him from speaking. “I love you, Isak.”

Isak took a step forward, and held on tight to Even. “You can say it,” he said. “Doesn’t - doesn’t make much of a difference.”

Even nodded. “I know.”

“For what it’s worth, though,” Isak continued, lowering his voice to a murmur, as if the quieter he speaks the easier it will be. “I love you too.”

He shifted, pulling Even to him, pressing their lips together gently, softly tearing himself apart. 

*

**now**

They end up on Isak’s bed in the most innocent of fashions. Fully clothed, holding drinks that Isak eventually decided they needed. Isak is fiddling with the TV remote and Even is watching him, Isak can feel his eyes on him.

Even leans his back against the wall and gives a relaxed sort of sigh. “We should watch Romeo and Juliet,” he says. “It’s kind of fitting.”

“Please,” scoffs Isak. “You can make that movie fit to any situation you’re in as long as it means you get to watch it.”

“Are you trying to make fun of me? Because it’s not working.”

“Would I ever make fun of your obsession with Romeo and Juliet?”

“I hope not,” says Even. “Otherwise I’ll be on my way.”

He starts to move, and Isak flings his body across Even, landing draped across him with his arms around his neck. 

“Nope,” Isak says cheekily, and feels Even starting to laugh underneath him. He rolls off to a more comfortable position, then finds the remote from where he threw it and gives it to Even. “You can watch Romeo and Juliet. I’ll just watch you.”

*

**then**

“God, is there a single movie you could stay awake through?” Even laughed fondly at Isak as his eyes started to close. 

Isak shook his head sleepily. “Not when you’re so comfy,” he murmured into Evens shoulder.

“This has nothing to do with me. You could sleep anywhere,” Even said, voice overflowing with fondness. “I bet you could sleep through the end of the world.”

“Is that a challenge?” Isak raised an eyebrow, though he kept his eyes closed. 

“You should get more sleep.”

“I’m trying to, if you would stop talking.”

Even huffed a laugh. “I mean at night.”

“Whatever. Let me sleep.”

*

**now**

He’s not even watching the film, making good on his promise that he’s going to watch Even instead, and still, by the end, there are tears forming in his eyes. 

Even hasn’t watched the movie either, not really. Isak knows because he’s been watching, lying with his head in Even’s lap and Even’s fingers running through his hair and there’s barely been a second where they aren’t just looking at each other with the film playing quietly in the background.

“Your hair’s getting long,” Even says absentmindedly, and Isak hums. 

“Didn’t see the point in getting it cut,” he says. 

“I like it,” Even replies. “I’ve missed playing with it.”

“I’ve missed you playing with it,” Isak confesses. “I’ve missed a lot of things.”

He shifts, pushing himself upwards so he can reach Even, disappointed to feel Even’s hand fall away from his hair but needing to kiss him again, to hold Even’s face and guide their lips together gently.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers in between kisses. “We wasted so much time.”

Even lifts his hand to brush a piece of hair out of Isak’s eyes. “We have today.”

“It’s not enough.”

“But it’s what we’ve got,” Even shrugs, and kisses Isak again. “Don’t think about it.”

“I’m not very good at that,” Isak says.

Even hums. “Then just look at me.”

Isak rests his forehead against Evens and opens his eyes slowly. 

“All that matters,” Even says - “is the next minute.”

The ghost of a smile forms on Isak’s face. “So what do we do in the next minute?” he asks. 

“In the next minute,” Even says slowly. “You’re going to lie down next to me, and we’re just going to exist.”

Isak’s smile grows into something real. “That’s chill,” he says. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

*

**then**

Even would always come home a few days after their fights, and they would just lie together, sometimes after a more exciting make up scene, sometimes after a single exhausted hello before they collapsed down together. Their hands and eyes would find each other, and they would lie, still, quiet, existing. 

It was almost like they were resetting themselves. Learning each other in silence and stillness. Finding the parts about each other that they knew and adored. 

Isak always felt calmer when they lay together in silence. He always felt calmer when their hands were linked together, and their heads lay on the same pillow and their mouths breathed the same breath. 

He always felt calmer around Even. 

*

**now**

They lie down and Isak sighs in contentment.

“Thank you,” he says. “For existing with me.”

Even smiles at him. “You know, I’m almost glad we’re here.”

“Almost,” Isak moves closer to Even, burying himself in Evens existence. “How long do we have?”

“About an hour,” Even says. “But that’s not important. What’s important is existing.”

“Yeah. We’re doing a good job of existing.”

“Better at that than anything else,” Even agrees. 

Isak smiles, and lifts his hand to touch Evens face. “I love you,” he says. “If there’s one thing on my bucket list I can achieve its to be able to tell you that one last time.”

Even moves his own hand up to take hold of Isak’s, and presses a kiss to his palm before interlacing their fingers. “I love you too.”

There’s nothing but silence and soft existence between them for a while until Even speaks. 

“It’s kind of grand and romantic when you think about it.”

“What is?” Isak asks. 

“This. Us. Me being here,” he sighs. “My final grand romantic gesture. So I can cross that off my bucket list, too.”

Isak rolls his eyes and shoved lightly at Evens shoulder. Even simply laughs softly, and pulls Isak close. 

Isak relaxes into him, breathing out heavily, his eyes closing on their own. 

“I could fall asleep here,” he says - and then realises what he’s saying. 

Even seems to realise at the same time, and a slow smile spreads across his face. Soon enough, they’re both laughing into each other, Isak burying his face in the pillow beneath him. 

Even always told him he could sleep through the end of the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you dont understand what is happening in this fic, two things: 1) big mood, and 2) ur welcome to come and chat to me on [the tumbz](http://evenshands.tumblr.com)  
> hope you enjoyed tho! i love comments hint hint  
> love always xxx


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